by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.patlambchristianauthor.com.
Train up a child…
How Does a Mom Gain Respect?
Have you noticed how some children really seem to respect their moms while others don’t? What makes the difference? Although children should be taught to respect their parents no matter what the circumstances, there are some things a mom can do to make it easier for a child to fulfill this requirement. Moms who are always firm, live good clean lives as examples to their children, and are willing to sacrifice their own comforts and desires usually have the respect of their children.
Sadly, some parents are afraid to be firm for fear that their children will get mad at them and not like them. Mothers who do this will surprisingly find a lack of respect. I observed an example of this when I taught kindergarten. A mother brought her son to class every morning and they were almost always late. She would beg her son to come on into the room. On one occasion I heard her tell the little boy that if he would go on into the room that she would give him a candy bar that she had in her hand. Finally, after much pleading, the little boy took the candy bar and came on into the room. When Mother’s Day was approaching, I had a group time with the children and talked to them about how they should love their mothers and what they could do for their mothers to show it. The same little boy defiantly said, “I hate my mother!” I was shocked, but it reinforced my understanding that you don’t gain respect without firmness to require a child to do what should be done.
When moms are firm about certain things, they must “practice what they preach” and set a good example. Children do not respect anyone who tells them not to do something and then they, themselves, go ahead and do those things. Children immediately catch on to our weaknesses. They see weaknesses as disgusting, especially when they have been told to be strong and resist the same temptations. “Do as I say and not as I do” simply does not work with children. They learn more by example than by what they are told. Moms should set the example of respecting their own parents, respecting God and his commands, as well as respecting the country and its laws.
If moms expect children to do more than they are willing to do, they are fooling themselves. Moms can gain respect of their sons and daughters when they are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family. I still have a visual image in my mind of my mom’s cracked and bleeding hands from milking cows with my dad every night and morning. How I respect her for that! When she sold her eggs each week and bought shoes for my sisters and me instead of pretty things for herself, she gained the respect of each of us. Self-sacrifice speaks love loud and clear and it certainly gains respect.
Mother’s Day is somewhat of a test of the mother. Will her children respect her enough to make an effort to show that respect to her? Of course, it is also a test of dad. Has dad taught the children to show respect to their mom? Has dad shown proper respect to mom as an example? Actions speak louder than words. It is not the expensive gift that really counts, but rather the actions of the children in showing proper respect to their mothers. Have we done all we can to gain that respect?