by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book, Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, www.patlambchristianauthor,com.

Train up a child…

Children Can Learn to Think Ahead

         “Children will be children” is a comment often heard from grown-ups.  The truth is that adults will still act like children if they have never learned otherwise.  If we don’t teach children how to be responsible adults, they will likely never become responsible adults.

         At birth all actions are done on impulse.  As the child grows, that child should become more and more aware of reasons for actions and become able to think well enough to know that certain actions produce certain results.  It has been said that right-brain dominant persons tend to act more on impulse than reason.  Even if this is true, much can still be taught to help any person to think before acting.  One method for teaching a child to think before acting is to sit down with a child, take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  On one side of the paper write the word “If” and on the other side of the paper write the word “Then”.  After the line has been drawn and it has been explained to the child that you are giving help so they will understand actions better, list actions on the “If” side and results of those actions on the “Then” side.  Following are suggestions of actions and results to list:

• If I yell at someone/Then that person will probably yell back at me.
• If I hit someone/Then that person will probably hit me back
• If I say something ugly about someone/Then that person will probably say something ugly back to me.
• If I don’t do my homework/Then I will feel badly when I go to school and the teacher asks for the homework.  I will also not learn what I need to learn and will not make good grades.
• If I don’t obey my parents/Then I will not learn to obey the laws and my teacher.  I will be punished and feel badly.
• If I don’t take care of my health/Then I will probably get sick.
• If I make a mess/Then someone will have to clean it up and since I made the mess, it should be me who has to clean it up.
• If I am unfriendly to others/Then they will not be friendly to me.
• If I do not get a good education/Then I will probably not get a good job when I am older.
• If I don’t learn to use money wisely/Then I will probably never have much money.
• If I don’t keep things put away/Then they will probably get lost or broken.
• If I don’t share/Then others will not share with me.
• If I don’t control myself/Then I will probably get in trouble.

Sitting down and listing these and other things with a child helps to make life seem a little clearer.  These are simple facts of life that every child should know, but often children do not learn.  Even very young children can learn these facts. For example, I once heard two church nursery workers tell about two little boys in the nursery.  One little boy kept hitting the other.  The second little boy kept moving away and the first boy kept following and hitting him.  The second boy did not hit back but finally looked at the first boy and said, “You should learn to control yourself!”  

         We would be wise as teachers, parents, and grandparents to understand that very young children can learn these facts of life and learn to think before acting.