by Pat Lamb (Author of: Let the Children Come; Children, Come to Me; When the Stars Fall Down; Widening the Church Doors to Teach the Narrow Way; My Thinking Book; Love is…) Books are available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble; www.patlambchristianauthor.com
Small Steps Can Lead to Big Gains
“The longest journey starts with the first step”. How true. This philosophy can be applied to helping children set goals. It is important to set short-term goals as a beginning to the achievement of long-term goals. Parents often have the tendency to set ultimatums that overwhelm children; then, children tend to give up before they get started feeling that the task is impossible to achieve.
Nothing succeeds like success. Success breeds success; failure breeds failure. When a child feels successful, that child will want to continue actions that achieved that success. When a child experiences failure, that child will not want to continue. If we help a child set goals that are easily achievable, the child will want to set another achievable goal.
How does this work in real life? Suppose you want a small child to clean his/her bedroom. Instead of telling the child to clean the room, break the chore down in steps. Perhaps start with telling the child to make the bed. After that is accomplished, tell the child to pick up the things on the floor. Next, the child could do the dusting of one piece of furniture at a time. Finally, the floor needs to be vacuumed or swept. Add other tasks as needed until the room is nice and clean. When the child then receives praise for a clean room, he/she feels a sense of pride and accomplishment and will be more apt to do it next time. In addition, the child has been taught what is involved in cleaning a room.
Another example might involve a child learning the multiplication tables. Instead of simply telling the child to learn the tables, help the child set a goal of learning the 8’s by a certain time. Next, the child might learn the 9’s, etc. This continues until all the tables are learned.
If a child is struggling with homework, instead of simply telling the child to do the homework, a parent might say, “After this page is done, take a little break and get a glass of water or cookie.” Plan with the child by looking at how much is left to be done and dividing it up so that the child feels accomplishment along the way. After each part is done, the child might be allowed to do something to have a little break.
Still another example might be used in saving money. Discuss with the child how much money can be saved by a certain time. Make sure a special container is available for the money even if it is simply a clean jelly jar. After the first goal has been reached, reset the goal for a certain date to have saved a greater amount. It is helpful if a child has an object in mind to purchase or another plan for the money. That would be the long-range goal. The short-range goals along the way are very helpful in motivating the child to continue saving.
Almost any task can be broken down in parts to encourage and motivate children. It is good to have long-range goals as well, but the short- range goals are the stepping stones along the way.